You hate writing. You hate every writing assignment you ever get. You probably have a paper due tomorrow and you are reading this to procrastinate. Don’t worry—I already know why, and I’ve got something to say about it, too. So, grab a snack and enjoy; here are the top six reasons you absolutely hate writing.
1. “This author died before the founding of America and/or the invention of Hot Pockets.”
I get it: “nothing they say is relevant.” And yes, if Jane Austen could only have written essays about the need for a college football playoff system, it might make for a more “modern” read. But don’t fall into this trap. After all, as all college students know, expiration dates are only a suggestion. Sure, Jane Austen may not know anything about football. But she does know (and did write) something about fierce competition between men. Maybe write a paper comparing two male protagonists, how each asserts his masculinity in different ways, and then prove which type of man ol’ Jane preferred. All this to say, even though the content of your readings may not be relevant, the ideas they discuss can certainly apply to your life.
2. “My teacher doesn’t make sense.”
This I can relate to. I’ve often had teachers that I don’t understand, and yes, it’s extremely frustrating. However, stop and be thankful you get to write for a grade, and aren’t stuck in an ever-increasing stack of blue scantrons! When writing, you get to write about what interests you and what you understand. If you didn’t understand your professor’s discourse on the rhetoric of twentieth-century British biographies, then by all means, don’t write about the same thing! Even within the limits of rubrics and prompts, there is always room for a little flexibility in topic.
Of course, there are always some great external resources available: your professor’s office hours, us, or dare I say – another book?!
3. “Grammar is the love-child of Miley Cyrus and Parking Services.”
Yes, yes it is. But in our constant quest to look intelligent in contrast to that school in Tuscaloosa, we must abide.
4. “This assignment is boring!”
I have two responses to this. One, I once had to do an eight page analysis of three sentences in a coming-of-age novel by an obscure author from South Africa (Your assignment can’t be that boring!). Two, I’m sorry. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes there isn’t time to change your topic, and you’re stuck writing about something that just doesn’t interest you. But that’s okay. Because it’s making you a better writer and a better person. And in a couple years when an employer or graduate school asks you, “When’s a time you’ve had to overcome adversity?” then maybe that boring paper will finally become useful.
5. “I’m majoring in nuclear bio-astrophysics engineering and minoring in prime numbers.”
I know you’re smart, curing cancer, building rocket ships, and making my iPhone run faster (and thank you for doing it), but writing is always important. Why? This Forbes.com article gives you the facts. Employers value things like organizing, effective communication, and solving problems—three crucial aspects of writing a good paper—above “technical knowledge related to the job” and “proficiency with computers.”
So, keep on writing, regardless of your major; it’s for your benefit. Oh, and just so you know, some of our tutors build rocket ships, too.
6. “This is hard. Like, literally.”
We know it is. But don’t worry, we’re here to make it easier, more exciting, and relevant. Come in and see us – we don’t bite, we can relate, and we like Hot Pockets, too.
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